*This is a collaborative post
I’ve often heard it said that one of the secrets to a long relationship is to have different interests. After all, it’s good to have activities that you can do outside of your relationship and it’ll give you both something to talk about.
While I think that’s true, up to a point, being with someone who is passionate about the same things as you can be amazing for your relationship.
Anyone who knows me knows how much I love movies. I run my own movie blog and it’s one of the main passions in my life. The fact that Scott is a huge movie fan too has been a huge boost to our relationship. When we first got together, we bonded over our love of movies, went to the cinema a lot and had our own private in-jokes talking only in movie jokes. I can’t imagine not sharing this part of my life with him.
Throughout lockdown, we kept saying to each other that we couldn’t wait to get back to the cinema together. The last thing we managed to see was Tenet last year, but that was ruined slightly by the migraine I had. Like most of the world, we’ve also had a lot of time to watch TV during the pandemic, and this is where our similar tastes really helped too. Other than my failure to get Scott to watch Bridgerton, we’re on the same page (or Netflix menu).
We each have other interests too. Scott likes cycling (my last bike had a basket on the front with a plastic flower on it) and cars. Other than watching Top Gear with him, they’re his interests. I like reading, which Scott always says he needs to get into, but there’s a growing pile of books that I have bought him over the years that remain unread.
So when you’re dating, how important is it that your partner has the same interests as you? A good friend of ours is really into gaming. It’s an important part of his life, but it has caused some problems in his relationships, as some of his past girlfriends just don’t understand it. This is a common problem, after all, there are an estimated 2.7 billion gamers in the world, which is why sites like Gamerdates exist, to connect people with the same love of gaming. When he tried online dating before lockdown, he didn’t mention this as a hobby, and again it led to disappointment.
Like a lot of people, he had a chance to reevaluate what he wanted out of life after the pandemic and that was to find someone who shared his love of gaming, not just accepted it or tolerated it. Having gamer dates is now something he actively looks for and things are already looking up for him on the dating front.
From personal experience, I’d say that while it’s really important that you maintain your own interests, it’s amazing to bond over things that you both love. It’s a great balance that lets you keep your individuality but also enjoy your main interests together.